Extended Letter from the Editor (12/9)
Hello Lovers,
Welcome back to my channel! JK JK! I know, it’s been a long time since we last spoke. I’ve been adjusting to some pretty major changes. Some of those changes include that I am a student now! Yes, so I’m quite busy with that. Being back in school has been interesting because some of my classes are with teenagers. There have been plenty of challenges, but one of the bigger ones is not judging the conversations and thought-patterns of the younger students. An easy way to combat this ageist elitism is by remembering that when I was their age, I probably had similar conversations. In fact, I’d say mine were potentially worse because I fancied myself so refined and mature that I shudder to imagine the level of pretension dripping from my friends and I back then.
Another thing I think about a lot is, if I knew now what I’d known then, would I do it all over again? Would I pursue higher education from the same angle. I guess that scenario would require me to have dual consciousness, one able to be manipulated by the other (but the other not being able to do the same back). In one capacity, I’d be able to make an executive decision to rewind the Journey of my life. The question is, do I have the insight in the moment, able to navigate my situation differently? Or do I make the decision knowing I will make all the same choices and have the same result? This question is so loaded with existential nuance, it’s one that has baffled us for ages.
If you have not yet heard, I closed my books to reading requests, meaning I no longer offer personal readings for people. This policy has been effective since Halloween, and it will remain in effect for the foreseeable future. I started practicing tarot and astrology as a public facing service in the summer of 2018. About six or seven months later, I quit drinking. Over the course of the year that I was practicing, I must have read for hundreds of people. No two readings are the same but one characteristic always remains-- they reach into the depths of a person’s heart & soul. This practice (along with the North Node moving into Cancer) has softened me immensely, making me more sensitive and aware, holistically. I am more in tune than ever before with universal energy, the energy of others, my own intuition. This stepping into my power requires me to level up in other ways-- there’s no going back. I am no longer the Vei Darling that I was before transforming in this Light; I am a whole new Vei.
This new Vei has been hard to adjust to. I feel so empowered and so grateful. I constantly remind myself that, in my memory, I have never been as powerful as I am now. I have never known as much as I do now. To be free of the ignorance that was keeping me low vibrational is such a gift. But like I said, it’s not been easy. With great power comes great responsibility. Stronger clairvoyance means more exposure to energies you don’t want to interact with. I haven’t yet figured out how to turn the clairaudio off. Making choices that strengthen and elevate you usually brings a level of destruction to your life that can be heartbreaking, and sometimes you feel guilty for mourning. Somehow wins and gains begin to feel like you’re being punished, and you realize that instead of enjoying the shifts into higher energies, you’re just biding your time and waiting for it to be over. When acting with greater intention, every situation feels much more exhausting because you’re constantly weighing the options and consequences.
Oof. Yah. Healing is hard. Ascension is hard. Existing is hard. Being is hard. Processing the Ascension itself has not been easy. The Year of Heart Healing was a heavy one, and every heart cracked wide open. Everything spilled out-- the poison, the love, all of it-- and none of us could hide from the realities of what was pent up. What’s left is truly the essence of who we are. It’s pure love-- prana, qi, whatever-- expressed through the heart-center, our guide here in this 3D realm. It’s been for the best, really. I had a lot of trauma to heal through, some that was occurring concurrently. Realizing the trauma was another traumatic experience in and of itself, and healing it wasn’t much different. I remained steadfast in that this was all for the best and that, should I rise to the task, not only would I be met with relief but reward as well. I chugged along. I gave myself love, kindness, loving kindness, space, advocacy, all those things.
Now imagine doing that for hundreds of people. I’m not being facetious, I read for at least 150-200 people this year. Those first few events when I did them for tips. Those first few months when I’d test the elasticity of my capacity by reading past the limits of my energy. The days when I’d get anywhere between 10-25 people, or I’d read for four hours straight. People would beg me to see them... and because I recognized the spiritual need living within them, I would. Obviously at this point, I didn’t respect my energy enough. I didn’t respect my gifts, my power, mySelf enough to realize that this was no way to interact with what I was doing. As I adjusted to the practice, I realized I’d need to ground people’s energies, I’d need to Channel in different ways that kept me from taking on too much, etc. TBQH, reading for others opens you up to a LOT of danger. And I wasn’t really prepared for that. By proxy, my energy was lowered in order to interact with some of these energies. I had to do so much emotional and mental labor to be able to convey hard truths to people that generally didn’t want to interact with them (which is why they’d come to me).
What I’m saying is, I’m burnt out. Spiritually. Emotionally. I don’t have much more to give and what I do have, I’m keeping myself. That was a major lesson for me, a Sagittarius, in 2019-- stop spreading your energy around so much. Keep some things for yourself. Yeah, you can be anyone and do anything you want-- but do you need to be? Be wiser about how you expend energy, where you direct it. Oh, and my favorite -- stop expecting people to show up the way that you show up when you know full well that they are not capable of doing so. Yeah. Broke my own heart a couple times throughout the year.
So, yes. I’ve been gone for a minute. I’m in school and I’m… healing. A LOT. And Ascending, sometimes really rapidly. I’m adjusting to this world and it’s intense. All of that takes up a lot of time and I never want to leave people empty handed. I’m figuring out ways to better serve the community with these gifts. It would be tremendously helpful for you to let me know what helps you the most! What forms of content and media, what platforms, what kinds of programming? I want to streamline this force for the new decade, so that we are operating in perfect symbiosis.
Speaking of 2020, I’m doing the final Club Cosmos of the year on Tuesday, 10 December 2019 at the Ace Hotel New York. It’s from 7pm until 9pm. The link to RSVP is right here, and I do ask that you RSVP as we seating is limited. We will focus on Capricorn season and preparing for 2020 as a new year and new decade. For those who need help with setting intentions for these major changes, unpacking the energy we have been interacting with as well as the energy we are coming into, please come through! And if you don’t need assistance, come just for the vibes <3 It’s my final hurrah before taking holiday, so come through. I promise we won’t bite.
Thank you for reading this. I know it’s a bit long, but I’ve been gone for a while. Plus I’m a Sun and Mercury Sag during Sag season-- like, c’mon, what did you expect? More regular updates coming soon, I hope. I cannot promise, haha! But as I adjust to my course load, rest assured that I will be back and better than ever.
I love you truly + deeply
xx vei